Lost and found.

I've been wanting to pen down my long overdue thoughts for the longest time. Here I am, typing all of this on the new year's eve.

My last entry was dated on January 2021, expressing my hope for everyone to be mask free completely.

And now we are mask-less (which is already a dream come true), but only when you're in the public open space. You still need to don your mask when you're in a healthcare setting, taking public transport or encouraged to wear one when you're in indoor area.

Good news for the healthcare provider is that they have officially downgraded the cruel n95 mask to normal surgical mask as a must wear PPE in the hospital. *hoorah  

For that I'm thankful. ❤️

...

Well today's journal would be a confused, gloomy one (later on followed by happy jolly ones).
Bear with me, I need to let things out so I can think and rationalise better /well, hopefully/.

2022  has been.. I don't know how to describe but I think it's a transformative year for me. I've become someone fairly new through the smallest littlest way. The whole year swift by so fast to the point I felt like I have not done anything the entire year.

My introvert-extrovert meter has gone slightly haywired. 

Being an ambivert myself, idk why this year I tend to sway towards introversion too much to the point I became cuckoo for a while. 

It's like I rather being at home watching movies/indoor yoga rather than staying out to socialise til' late night unless you're my loved ones or close circle of friends, well then that's another story.

But truthfully speaking, I really enjoy being at home. A lot more in fact.
Resting and recuperating from life especially after a long exhausting day.

However being home too much sometimes feels like being caged. 

Hence on and off I do head out to take a breather, to see the world, to feel the extrovert self again. Yes, I need that balance. Ambivert is strange and ambivert is me. heh.

..

This long-covid normalising year makes me feel so lost at times. Lost because I used to (before 2020) have long term goals of what I want to do/achieve but those plans/goals seems to have crashed in million pieces since coronavirus took over. And now? any long term goals seems to be very scary and daunting. 

So nowadays I make short term goals and plans instead. It sounds more realistic and achievable. Also simply, life's short.

So aside from all the personal changes, I've moved to a new place at the beginning of the year! The process of looking for affordable rooms, strategic location, transport to work, accessibility to the nearest MRT, the freedom to cook, own personal space.. and with the extreme price hike due to inflation or whatever reason.. surely wasn't easy and no doubt stressful. 

But I'm so glad that I have a very kind person to look out with me hence it eased the process.

The completion of moving to a new place took roughly around 2 weeks. Mostly travelled and moved by foot and I must say it was adrenaline inducing. 

Thankfully, all is well now. I'm all good in my new comfort space! :)

Decluttering, recycling, donating, selling and giving away things I don't need have been my favourite routine now. It helps me to realise the big disadvantage of being a hoarder (although I'm not a horrible hoarder) but it does kick some sense into my brain after this experience. 

"Buy things ONLY if you need."

"Do NOT keep things just because it is nice and memorable. 

If you don't use it, give it away".

Yeap that's that.

Also I remember back in 2020-2021 I was feeling kind of gloomy on some days hence I kept myself very busy with many things so I don't feel sad. So that whole period I was really busy building myself up mostly via sports and I really didn't have time to dwell on those unnecessary sorrowful events.

Then towards the end of 2021 I felt that it's unhealthy to live like that because feelings are valid. Sadness and frustrations are all part of the feelings. Embrace them. Cry. Sob. Sigh. And that's okay.

And this year, I let myself feel all of those. 😂
Goddamnit I regret for feeling ALL of those because it sucks, haha. I let emotions took over a lot of times and I have became unwise and think a lot. Gosh, those moments were suffering. I swear it's so hard to live by sometimes. 😅 

don't worry, it's over and I'm okay!

Well to summarise, 2022 is just a whole period of me being confused and lost, finding myself through the missing bits and pieces and I can't believe I am actually experiencing this on my last year being in the 20s. /facepalm/

Too surreal.

Feels like I'm back to my teenage days lulz, maybe this is the adult version?

And with all these minor progressive changes that I'm experiencing, it trains my patience and adaptation skills even further. The outrageous adaptation towards life, work, hurdles, people's behavior and ever changing situations sometimes make me feel so hard to cope but I told myself, 

"one step at a time. Slowly but surely". 

Somehow it helps and I'm glad that I made it through. ❤️

...

Oh wellss. 2022 is a good experimental year for sure.

Time to find balance for the following:

-intro-extroversion.
-being occupied vs letting emotions taking over.
-giving vs reserving.

/finger crossed/

Alrighty folks, gloomy melancholy emotions aside, this year is definitely a year of touching reunion with my family and friends at home. FINALLY the border has opened. I still remember watching touching video of Malaysians walking over to Johor immigration at midnight via the bridge after the announcement. /wipe side tears/

And my dog! Did you know that I have a doggie at home now? Hehe. His name is Xiao Hei. I've grown so much love towards this little being although it was just a short couple of meet ups. He hasn't seen me and didn't know my presence at all. However his heartwarming pawshake and tail wagging always warm my heart whenever I make a trip home. ❤️

That's Xiao Hei right there, top right of the collage. 😊

Wait, did I mention that I was sick frequently but for short period this year? Sore throat x2, episodic diarrhea x2, bad menses cramps yada yada and I'm still a covid virgin? HAHA ✌️ idk how that works. It's just so strange yet I'm so thankful at the same time!

And the acute minor low back pain I suffered due to improper muscle engagement during backbend yoga was an eye opening experience for me. I didn't realise I strain it until the next day. The ache and pain at the lower spine whenever I stand was.. horrendous!

Which is why it's so so important to listen to your body and recognising your capability. Activate your core and squeeze your glutes. They help. Your lower spine will thank you!

But that experience itself did not hinder me or traumatise me to continue yoga. I was speaking to a kind friend, who's also my yoga teacher. Attended his virtual lesson, also a backbend class but this time round I was listening to his cues very attentively and flowed at my limit. My lower back instantly felt better the next day! thank the good Lord.

I injured and healed through yoga. How ironic that sounds!
Every healing and recovery process is wonderful and I appreciate all of it. 🙏

Speaking of yoga, I've been practising rather consistently. Besides attending physical lessons, I also made time for virtual classes because I'm used to it and it's quite affordable compared to all the physical lessons.

I had goals, for sure. Hence I keep practising even after class. Recorded myself, reviewed myself and laughed at myself. Most importantly I look at my own body alignment and question my teachers if I have any doubt. That's how I learn and improve I guess. 

My proudest achievement is definitely getting to headstand within 6 months after a series of continual discovering and practising. Hip hip hooray! 🥳

Now moving forward I can actually do headstands' variations! I am seriouslyyyy not sure how I did it but the exhilarating and happy moment was unreal!! :')

Even my core strength and back bend (especially forearm wheel) has improved so much!
Hehe I think the best part of all these achievements is that I don't feel pain/ache in any parts of my body and I am free from injury. That's a good indicator that I'm on the right track and I can continue to practise safely. 😊

Now my next target is on hamstring and hip flexor flexibility, albeit it's gonna take a really long time but I really can't wait for my transformation the following year. Front and side splits are my ultimate goals. Not to forget unassisted handstand and pincha too. I'm gonna get those done and right. One step at a time. Double fingers crossed!

..
On another note, I'm so glad to be away from work for a while. Finally stepping into education again, a plan I've wanted to achieve 2 years ago. 

Feel a little strange to be a student again at this age. My last active studying was 5 years ago. 😮

Nevertheless it's good to make the neurons active again. Learning has been great and fun so far! But chasing after the endless assignments is not. No lie, it consumes so much of my time that the only time I think I'm breathing well (and totally stress free) is during eating, showering and sleeping. 😂

Welcome back to student life eh pk?

Oh before I forgot, I'd love to mention that I finally travel after 2 long covid yearsssss!
It was at somewhere near, at Semporna, Sabah. I had amazing time enjoying the breathtaking blue-est sea and interacting with mother nature. Semporna islands are pretty similar to the majestic popular Maldives and I'm so glad I get a small taste of it at my homeland, Malaysia. :)

I had my first snorkeling experience in a big blue sea , my first solo kayak and my first luxurious resort stay at a beautiful place far far away from the city.

I don't think I'm gonna blog about it because I have no time, haha. But I did briefly talk about it at my ig! Feel free to browse whenever you feel like it and at your own leisure time!

And to end the year, I had another luxurious, relaxing staycation (sponsored by coughs-my workplace-coughs), it was absolutely chilling, unforgettable and amazing with a great companion and I wouldn't want to have it any other way. It's something so precious and I will cherish deeply.

All in all, I'm contented. Although I felt sucky a lot of times. It's still a learning curve year, finding pieces of myself again.

I've learnt to distance myself from extremely toxic individuals who took me and my kindness for granted. I've learnt to treasure my close circle even more, shower them with strength and love, expressing my care and concern towards them whenever I can. Because I feel, every fleeting moment is so precious. I didn't want to miss out any opportunity to say I miss them/I care for them. Oh dear that sounds so cringey! but yeah.

I've also learnt to be someone who is less dramatic, more problem focused, less dilly dally, more straight to the point when it comes to facing a crisis.

Being someone who is somewhat similar to life "workaholic" I've really learnt to stop once in a while to rest. Or just spend really quiet quality time with my closed ones. 🥰

I guess that's all, mates! I feel so much better, typing all out. 😊
I don't know what's ahead, let's take things as it comes. Doing my best in everything, finding balance, stay healthy, not taking too hard on myself when things doesn't happen as wished/hoped/dreamed/planned, staying persevere, level headed, positive, strong and kind. 

Whoop, that's a lot there. 😂

Let's roll into 2023 with fireballs of strength and positivity, honey. Have a blessed 2023!!

2016 Timeline ;

January.
I still remember vividly that I was so overwhelmed and exhausted by the mountains of assignments being thrown to me and my batchmates during semester 5. I remember being so task oriented that I almost neglected the human values during my clinical assessments. Of course, I was ultra thankful to my assessors who pin pointed my little mistakes here and there. Human values and the true essence of communication cannot be forgotten whether we are having exam or not. Patients' safety can never be compromised, patients' comfort must always be our top priority. #lifelessonlearnt

I guess the best feeling of the month was to hand in all the twenty-one (yeap you did not hear that wrong) assignments at one go. The relief, the happiness, the off burden, the jumping in circles moment. Imagine me in that situation.  #feelingblissful

Anyway, I kinda ended that month with a blast presentation and karaoke after that. You guys can never ever imagine (my friends and) me swearing I mean singing out loud with 'vulgar' lyrics on the screen using a microphone to the point the passersbys were staring at us, lulz. I mean... it was tension release purposes, no serious harm was intended. /cry-laugh emoji/


February.
If Chinese New Year did not fall on January, it must be somewhere on February. So yeah, this year the CNY was on my birthday month, and coincidentally again, my birthday was on the third day of CNY this year, woohoo. Double angpows (woohoo!) 
And GSC was kind enough to give me free movie tickets but wasn't kind enough to add more interesting movies for me to watch. FYI, birthday person can only watch a certain movies in that 'arterisk' list. Obviously not impressed because at that time, there were a lot of horror movies in the list and also local-CNY-I have already watched movies. But THANKFULLY, THANKFULLY Deadpool was in the list. Watched with dearest Ying. And THANKFULLY, the movie was quite hilarious. Thanks Ryan Reynolds for the good job done! Still cannot beat my favourite 'Ant Man', nonetheless! :P
...

Received my result, it was SURPRISINGLY okay, hahaha I have always thought I scored worse but oh wells :)
As usual, my university wouldn't give anything more than 3 weeks of semester break. 
SO classes resumed on the 29th of Feb. YEP.


March.
First class was on stress threshold and mental illnesses for Mental Health module. It was purrrrrretty fun. Everybody started to suspect each other whether any of us have some kind of mental disorders. lulz
Oh yeah, not to mention, beginning of semester 6 means the BEGINNING OF RESEARCH, face that SELF! /exhale slowly/ I think I probably will have a blogpost specially dedicated to 'research' SOON to commemorate my journey with my supervisor. Such a tough asdfghjklqwertyuiop.. okay I'll leave it for future blogpost. Wait for it.

And oh, I've been to the Putrajaya Hot Air Balloon Fiesta again! This time with a bunch of good friends until late night. It was a pretty fun night, I remember. Also, I received a lovely photo album from my buddy that month. <3


April, May, June.
After some mini battles with le exam papers, we headed to Tanjung Rambutan for our first posting at Hospital Bahagia Ulu Kinta (HBUK). Very exciting! Our first mental health posting was definitely an eye-opening experience one.  And then healthy ageing posting at Alzheimer's Disease Foundation Malaysia, management posting at T-ung S-hin (TS) Hospital and community posting at KK Pedas. These three months had been quite impactful. For more stories on my posting experience, it has been blogged here.

P/S : Oh yah, in the midst of posting, we also travelled to Ipoh and around Seremban for the food and some sightseeing! I will miss the morning stroll around Rasah neighbourhood. :')


July.
It was the month of gathering. Gathering who? Gathering with my best friend (Alia), with my dear high school friends during Raya and of course, with my piggie gang! One of my college buddies had graduated from UCSI, hence another gathering!
Congrats over your convocation, buddy. Now that you're entering workforce pretty soon, I'm wishing you the best of luck and rock the working world under your toes!
...

It was also a month of saying goodbye to my dear friend, Ray (all the best in UK, pal!) and my dear lecturers - Prof L and Ms. Pat. They are one of the few who are very good at what they're teaching. Knowing that they have retired and left to another place of teaching, I will miss them both very much.

FAST FORWARD to... end of the month.
I landed at Myanmar.


August.
There are too many words to describe Myanmar. I was there for 11 days with a group of volunteers for a community project called 'MICCP' aka Myanmar-IMU Collaborative Community Project.

First of all, knowing that I was approved to FLY after some 4 donkey years staying at Malaysia, I was obviously overjoyed. Secretly speaking, I was very thrilled and excited throughout my journey (without my family for the first time), hahaha. Truth be told, I enjoyed every seconds whenever I was at Myanmar. :) 

All the 'tuk-tuk' moment, the honking days and nights, the interaction with the people at Myanmar, the taste of the culture and food, the beautiful kids, places like Mandalay, POL and Bagan... I can't wait to write about this experience soon. Wait for it k. (after my exam on the first week of January, pinky promise).

So after 11 good ol' days being at Myanmar, I was having post-I-miss-Myanmar-syndrome. BUT  I was really glad that I took a handful of photos and videos.  Viewing and replaying those shots played back those great memories. :') It was my first time editing a couple of videos within the same month. It was up at my vimeo account. Gocheckitout! Link.

29 Aug 2016: Semester 7 started.


September.
Semester 7 was jam packed. Can you believe it when I say I have only two weeks of theory block (meaning attending lectures and classes)?? CAN YOU?

I kenot, myself.
Even though I only need to study for two subjects, but it was packed with deadlines of assignments and studies within that two weeks. BLARDYHELL.
It was clearly stressful lah, but then it's over so it's okayyyyy.

Anyhoo, IMU Cup began again. I went with a bold face covered the dance event using a super limited equipment under the limited light situation. No flash, no DSLR, high ISO, moving dance, crazy lighting. BOOM.

It was an eye-straining editing that's fo sho' but I took it as my learning experience. I was utterly dissapointed that I did not deliver some good shots for the dancers dass all. :[ 

Moving on, I participated Chariofare Run for my 3rd year with dear Prissy. Timed self, had improvement but just slightly. Sobssss but it was more smooth and fun running this time compared to the previous year's probably because I knew the route therefore I can roughly estimate how long did I still have to reach the finishing line. And then I was the photog again after the run. Special thanks to Ms. S for having the faith in me again. :))

In the meantime, as soon as my theory block ended, my Non-Nursing elective began!
What's that, you wonder?
It's a module which I can participate in any community projects/work/attempt something new OUT of nursing. Meaning I can learn how to cook, drive, swim, work with a photographer, etc. 
BUT the funny thing is, when you are writing your report, you have to relate how joining (whatever that you're participating) will benefit you in nursing.



:/

So much hmmmphs.
I wanted to join community projects super badly, which include Epic Homes, Litre of Lights, SPCA and many more but I took quite some time to consider it because IMU JC presentation fell on the same month. In the end, I kinda gave up my plan and go for something more relaxing and near to uni. That is....

...
...
..
..
.
drum
roll
please
.
..
..
...
...
.....
......
..................yoga.

*cheers*
I have always wanted to learn yoga since young, since this was a good opportunity, I went for 12 classes and 3 workshops! Needless to say, I was superrrrr grateful for such a patient and dedicated yoga instructor who gave lotsa encouragement to her students. I have learnt quite a number of yoga poses which I never expect that I can do - such as crow pose, hand stand, etc but all thanks to her, I can. I really can, with the help of a friend of course. :)

But hearing her telling me,

"You improved so much in just 12 classes!" 

made me smile from ear to another.

Learning yoga has been a smart choice, I'd say. I saved a lot of time and get to relax MORE after a series of stressful days. It increased my physical flexibility and improved my muscle strength too. I can FEEL IT y'know. Sho' amazing. :]

... And then, and then there was this IMU JC Presentation at the end of the month. Both Ms. TT and I were nervous but well prepared. THANKFULLY, nobody shoot us any questions, woohoo. I can see that my supervisor was more happy than I was. lol! Haha but ah well, I can never reach to this point without her so...major credits to her. (Y)

Shortly after the horrific presentation, classmates and I headed to Meeples Board Game Cafe to play some indoor board games. It was pretty fun and exciting day, spending hours playing and just chillaxing. I love it!

September was so happening I see. So it ended with a farewell dinner with dear Ying and Chee Ling.


October.
Yoga was still ongoing, although non-nursing elective was finished in mid-Oct. Research was still ongoing because it is never-ending until you printed that book with gold prints. 

In the middle of all this, my clinical posting at HP (Hospital Pantai) KL officially began. This time round, we went to (Paeds, O&G, Respi and Diabetic) clinics and out patient department such as Dialysis centre to deliver health teaching to the clients there. Some of us were tagged with a wound care/colostomy staff nurse who goes to all wards to do wound inspection, dressing and colostomy related procedures.

Well to be honest, I'd say that the experience at a private healthcare setting sure was different than the experience I had in government health care setting. Lunch was always expensive and the access/permission to give health teaching wasn't as free and easy as I thought. 
Another thing is, 4 weeks of posting was too long. On my 3rd and 4th week, I felt draggy. So yah. But on a positive note, I did meet a couple of nice people who were so willing to say yes and really showed sincere appreciation whenever we had done the health education. :)

P/S: I miss the loving K & K (siblings) at Paeds clinic. 


November.
DING DING DING!
I am officially an aunt to my sister's son, everyone! 
This Baby Bryan Lee arrived in the morning of 3rd November, looking like a little caterpillar. /heart shaped eyes/
Grandma and Chris came over from Aussie to visit families here. We had a couple of family gatherings here and there. Time spent with them was always so joyful. :)) 

Besides reuniting with fam bam, research data collection also commenced! I was grateful for Ms. H's assistance during my data collection period. The process was tedious and tiring but I will take it as my learning process. Afterall, it's part of a research journey. 

Andddddddd IMU Cup closing ceremony wrapped up the IMU Cup this year. Photographed and uploaded those photos at Facebook. I left a video to edit but I haven't touched ittttt. Yikes. Soon, soon! Besides, I have also covered IMU Convo for my seniors and friends who graduated this year. Congrats, guys! My turn will come soon.

December.
This month was nothing but full of typing. Research data analysis, Chapter 5, thesis writing, blogging, instagram thought posting, etc. 

Besides academic related, I have also started my happiness project (again) since November. Pinned down some creative ideas at Pinterest and made some DIY hearty cards for random people. :) 
Occasionally when I was over-stressed with research, I took a day off to window shop/real shop. It's another self discovery process on traveling, renewing things I like, choosing to spend wisely rather than buy recklessly, enjoying the freedom and quality 'me' time.. I gotta say, I love it! 
...

December is another lovable month because it is the rainy season! Woot woot. My room have never been cooling since ages and now when it rains everyday, my room feels like heaven. 

... On another note, I have (recently) joined another local community project at the heart of KL. It's called the TMC. It's basically a project led by Dr. M which a group of volunteers (doctors, pharmacist, students, any random volunteers) gather to give free medical aids to the homeless and urban poor people. I have joined the team twice so far and I would love to join more whenever I can. :))

__

So to sum up my life in the year of 2016, giving back to community is my main highlight of the year. No matter to people who are unwell physically and mentally, people who are disabled, people who have organic disorder, people who are poor/homeless/transgender, and people of different race/ethnicity.
Interacting with people of different family, social, and cultural background makes me feel grateful and learn a lot as a person. Most importantly, it keeps me inspired.

:)

Now, enough about me. Apart from my life, news around the world this year involved war, terrorism, world election, and the world olympics.
Full of joy yet so much despair.
Great icons passed away, celebrities couple splitted, the increasing of keyboard warriors and judgmental society and the misuse of social medias for the wrong purpose.. 2016 has certainly teared our heart apart in some ways, donchu think?

But fret not, I am certain that this is a test that we all will overcome. Let's start reminding each other to be kind to one another, stay true to yourself, embrace your flaws just as they are, and remember to spread love to people around you and to people all over the world.

---
Overall, I wouldn't say 2016 is my best-est year of all, but I'd say it is rather an unforgettable year.
I did not achieve as much as I did the previous year but I'd say there are many highlights and money cannot buy experiences that will always serve as a reminder to me to be forever grateful in life. Definitely make a lot of people smile, this year. 

Super glad that I fulfilled my own promise (personal resolutions) that I made last year. :D

In 2017,

Plans and hopes :
-Unfollow negative people
-Launch a new profile to spread positive words around
-Face own fears.
-Create more self acheivements.
-READ MORE BOOKS AIYO. I did not reach much in 2016. :(
-Healthy and safe, always.
-Happy, happy all the time.
-Make more people smile.
-Contribute more, spread more love, expand the expanded #happinessproject!
-More adventures, more new attempts.

But in all seriousness, 2017 is gonna be an epic, challenging yet exciting year. Rooster is coming in when Monkey is exiting according to Chinese calendar. So it's gonna be MY YEAR. :P

Whatever it is, 

BRING IT ON, NEW YEAR!

*clinks glasses* *fireworks*

Happy blessed 2017 to all of you out there and to YOU who are reading this.
Here's to a greater, safer and healthy year ahead. :)

Always remember to be kind everyday, peepo!

xx

Replaying 2014 ;

Long post alert.
/waves/
Hey all :)
It's the end of the year again! Here's what PK does annually ; collect memories and transform them into typing words before they fade off :)


Now looking back.. 

Chapter January, February and March
       
        It started off with a bang well not really. Rather, I had a street photog outing with my fellow uni-photography-club-enthusiasts to Bukit bintang area. It was pretty fun for the first time with them as joy was here and there, passing photography jokes that we the 'light hunters' only understand. It was once documented here!

Mmm.. nothing really significant happened early of the year... EXCEPT

-my first clinical posting at Hospital Tungshin-

which I have also talked about it (experiences, feelings and thoughts) here. :)

..............
Turning 21 
The year when transformation happens, the year when a young adult enters into the world of adulthood? Being independent, legal and all that.
I didn't personally have a humongous celebration because I didn't want to [although it was still consider as one of the most important day (of turning 21)] And because the actual day itself fell on the first day of my hospital posting so it'd be tired for me to have a party after that.


On top of all that, I am truly blessed to have received all well-wishes from each friend of mine be it in the form of video, photo, fb wall, sms, whatsapp, instagram or any forms of communication that you guys used to wish me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thanks to classmates for the 'little surprise' too at the train station just before we all proceeded to the hospital for orientation.

Countless gratitude to my highschool girlfriends as well for such a meaningful gift which I never expect at all to receive this.
This bracelet represents a lot of things, said one of them.

"Camera represents your love and passion in photography, glasses represent you, four leaf clover represents luck, key represents legal/freedom, owl represents intelligence and last but not least, sister always charm represents US."

How thoughtful my friends are :')
Thank you for making my 21-year-old-celebration a memorable one, girls.
Love you all from the moon and back!

CNY this year was pretty awesome when there was a discussion about photography, gears, lenses, tips and tricks. As usual, we had our 4-day-CNY-routine-house-visiting-which nobody (even my friends) can interrupt when it comes to CNY celebration because these 4 days are specially booked to spend with families :)

.... Oh btw, y'know what?
I actually signed up for a secret little project called #100happydays which they claimed that they will send a book [of photos that we posted] if any of the sign-up users managed to complete the task. 

Task? 
Yeah. Basically all we need to do is to post a photo each day and #HASHTAG #100happydays at either twitter, facebook or instagram.

I was interested to join this (not because of the 'prize' as stated of course) cuz' it is like a 'tumblr challenge' thing that I wanted to do for a long time. Since I figure, I had time to do it as sem break was approaching.. I was thinking why not?

I completed #100happydays challenge and the photos are posted at instagram, you may have a look at it but I doubt that because there probably have zillions of hashtag of one hundred happy days and how are you going to search and know that those photos are mine? So sit back. Don't waste your time I'm going to delete some of the photos anyway because some are really ugly and unphotogenic, photography-cally speaking. :/

Current sem three : ECG taken on PK by dear Awin.

Quite exciting to have an ECG done on myself. I am doing fine, heart is pumping well, Ms. Azlina said. Doing a good job there, dear heart!



Sem one was actually alright, EOS was not completely easy but I was glad to pass with a set of satisfying results. Could be better :) 
At first, I was planning to visit the heaven-like-land filled with awesome food situated at the North (Penang, just incase I confused you) but plan failed miserably thanks to the hazy weather. /sobs/ However, outing plan with classmates after exam was switched to Shaf's house at Sg. Buloh which only me and Pau attended as the rest could not make it. It's okay, it's okay. We had equal enjoyable experiences, chattering here and there and we even did a "Counting Star" cover that day. How hilarious it was when I think back XD

Chapter April, May, and June

As you can see the above photo, my 4th, 5th and 6th month (especially April and May) were filled with extreme busyness. Tight schedule, hectic timetable, the great amount of lectures, tutorials and practicals were enough to kill us slowly. It's normal to have dyspnea (difficulty in breathing) and SOB (shortness of breath) when you come to semester two, Nursing (I just have to mention this specifically).

Out of the 70% occupied time, I managed to squeeze 15% to go for event photoshooting : IMU BALL! (Prom, in another word). I... sort of dressed up, borrowed a cam, went with a photography committee and a few members to gain new experience at a grand event :) All the guys and girls were looking extremely gorgeous and handsome with their outfits. I think I admired their dresses more than snapping group/candid photos of them hahaha /grins/
It was a nice experience, tho' no food was provided that night because we (our club) were so called 'not officially invited' to the event so meh. But it's alright. I survived and gained something more valuable than that. :]

As I have said, sem two was insane. Yet, I was offered the highest position for a club that I am active in. Knowing that I can not tolerate and due to my constant absence at uni, I rejected politely but thanks for the thoughts to have me as one of the nominees whom you think is capable, boss. :)
However, after negotiation I am still part of the committee but am currently holding a position which requires me to safeguard the equipments of the club. lol have a wild guess what post is that? :p
Anyways, it doesn't matter. I am thankful for whatever that is given. Together we bring the club to a greater heights, woohoo!


*breathes in, breathes out*
I just would like to announce that May is officially the most stressful month of all due to weekly exams and a mock OSCE. Enough said.

And then, here comes the arrival of June, the month when I had my next clinical posting FIRST at HPD, far far away from home (not that far actually. Hahaha) That month, hospital, staffs, and life there can be summed up in one word. Which is... NICE. 

The beach there are quite okay (if you know which beach to find) and hands down, to our usual hangout spot,Tanjung Waterfront cuz' without this place.. we could not have lived in good shape, having food supplies and one ice-cream box, weekly. lol I just said that.

It's just.. very chillaxing and... back to the word... NICE.
Thanks, PD :)

Chapter July, August, and September
When we shifted to Seremban for another 5 weeks of posting at HTJ, things (as in life) seemed to be the opposite of 'chillaxing'. The ward is waaaay busier, waaaay crazier, waaaaay messier and waaaaay (whatever terms you want to put as long as it is the antonym of chillaxing) than the ward at HPD. Same male, medical ward.. just different location. Y'know when you come to sem two especially clinical posting, everything (MUST) kick in -things you have learnt must all come to reality. They don't go to the waste bin just like that, mind you. Truth be told, there are a looooooooot of things to learn, and a looooooooot to catch up.

-new procedure-theories-crosses-remembering the procedures-revision-6 days of works-assignments-q&a-medications-

One sentence to conclude : UGH, STRESS GILER.
But out of all the stress-world, I am extremely glad for the strict guidance, to ensure that I carry out procedure correctly and safely for all patients. Thank you for brushing up my skills from zero to something, dear tutors :) Thank you for helping me to conquer my fear in giving injection. Thank you for being very patience in guiding nooby little me who knew nothing and now who knows a lot of things :)

On a side note, (nothing related to work tension) sis in law and her nephew came to Malaysia for a short trip. Basically we went to zoo (YES. Finally I get to go to the zoo!), bird park, Malacca and a few other places where yummy food are located :D It was one of the best moment I had with them. The little nephew was very obedient (under my brother's hyper-strict-guidance, coughs) and cute! He has this very strong character in him that I admire. Hopefully, he'll grow into a strong, optimistic young man when I see him next time in the near future :)

....
Apart from this, I had a great time visiting Ms. Azlina's house at Mantin with classmates. JUST SO YOU KNOW MISS, YOUR FOOD IS EXTREMELY DELICIOUS AND I AM NOT LYING! Thank you for the invite and warm hospitality :))

Also not to forget my annual babi outing with my babi(s)! Yoohoo /excited/
It was just a short meet up at Seremban. Despite where we are, we always enjoy talking and exchanging our stories. Sharing life as a student of nursing, dentistry and physiotherapy yo! who are you kidding :p

I guess the highlight of the month was OSCE and EOS. I don't know how to describe them tho'. 
EOS was bad.. OSCE was worst. I had bad feelings right after the exam and for manymany times I told myself, 

"Whatever the outcome is, just get ready."

When sem break started, our plan to Penang worked! /glad/
We managed to drag our busy friend, tingwenwen along like finally! Hehehe.
Overall the trip was wonderful (Y)
80's Guesthouse was awesome. Although we were being told that we made a lot of noise especially at night.. :p the hospitality and services deserve a thumbs up!
The food was undeniably the best. Also, the bonding session with my classmates were great. Lots of story exchange session, 'adventure' ride with our bikes, lunching by the beach and of course our selfie-wefie moments :))

Memories that I treasure, memories that are hard to be forgotten :)

Well, sweet things that happened aren't permanent. All of us was being called back to return to uni for intensive practice via e-mail with that extremely serious and urgent tone a few days right after our trip. It was a nerve-wrecking moment that's for sure. Stressful, even.. wondering what had happened. At that instant, the sem-break-I-was-supposed-to-be-enjoying feeling was long gone. Instead, worries came after me. 


"What had I done? What happened? What had I done? What happened?"
These questions was repeated in my mind all day, all night.


A few days after, after I had gotten my results, my first feeling was : blessed. Although it wasn't a good (I think it is the worst) set of results, I am thankful that I passed Pathophysiology. REALLY. /showing a hand sign of thankfulness/

Each of us was being told that we did not do well for practical exam, hence the reason of the sudden urge to call us back to uni immediately. After several practices for a few days, I have realized that I have so much to improve especially on health assessment, basic and common procedures. I swear that after many repeated practices with Pau and Pris, I am better at it now, not feeling like a 'newbie' anymore.

They always say,


"Sometimes it takes a  hardship to realize where your mistakes are, to realize what our flaws are, then you'll improve to be a better person than you were."




 
I am totally grateful to have given another chance to improvise myself at such critical situation. 
Be serious. Do not take this lightly anymore. /nods nods/

The practical exam was repeated on one sunny day. I didn't know what to expect because I knew I made some mistakes in two stations, in the meantime I knew that I had done my best.
I told myself,


"Alright, self. It's over. It's gonna be a determining factor. Whatever that is going to happen, accept it. Hope for the best, yet expect for the worst."

Self-comforting is good sometimes. It brings you positivity, in a good way of course. :)
So that's the end of my torturous, saddest and the most stressful story of the year.

"Expect for the worst, hoping for the best."

........................ Moving on to the remaining days before sem three commence, (sem break doesn't look like a break at all, you see) we had our first Chariorfare performance! It was a Micheal Jackson medley perfomed by.. the 93' babies! (chehh namaaa... bukan kemain glamour! lol)

I have to be honest that the performance was rather awkward because as the crowd was getting lesser, no one seemed to cheer for us so it was our 'melodious' (coughs) voice echoing out loud from the atrium. It was a good experience, standing at the stage doing something different and something we did not expect to do. /feel proud/


On a positive note, my club's photobooth was very successful as we managed to earn some profit for club's fund :)) /happy/

In the morning, I managed to get myself a 'finisher' medal (only top 200 runners can get the medals) for women category which to my surprise I was actually one of the 200 female runners who managed to bring back a....medal. Hahaha. I was giving up already the moment the rain started to pour when just began run, plus my contact lens were dropping off from my eyes - I swear it was so horrible (especially with my condition) to run under the rain! T____T
The day ended at about 3 o'clock. Kudos to the committees for the effort in organising this!
I had fun nonetheless. :)

...........

Sem three classes started two days right after Chariofare. The week after was the arrival of our juniors from NU114! Woohoo, we have just upgraded our status to.. SENIOR /applause/

Felt old but glad to be where I am now - old but with rich experience :P

Heh. We (classmates and I) basically went for classes as usual, teased each other like nobody's business, had our usual 'loud' sessions everywhere we go.. just being us you know, trying to do things together as much as we can before we get our resit results a week after that. Fuh, scary.

On that result 

day, almost all of us was reluctant to stand in front of Academic Services. A few of the brave ones braced themselves and faced the reality. Pass or not, we still have to move on with life.

At the moment, it was crazily mind throbbing for me. I was literally shaking and hide at a corner to view it. I had heard screams, started seeing friends rubbing eyes, saw people lying on the wall and I quickly tear the envelope and...

........

.....

..............

..........

it was a PASS.

Holymama I didn't know what to say! :') *hugged miss K and miss S

Everybody was tearing- be it sadness, expected, dissapointment or blessed, it was one emotional day for all of us.

One result may separate us from going classes or do things together but one thing for sure is, the bond between us is totally inseparable :)


Chapter October, November and December
Sad story has come to an end. Here are some of the cheerful ones. 

Sem 3
1) Everybody is being more serious and focused. It is obvious that each of us is putting effort to learn, remember and ask as much as we can, grabbing the opportunities to the maximum.
2) Cardiovascular system is very interesting! I LIKE :D
3) Passing sem two is definitely a relief but the hard work musn't just stop there.
3) Apart from studying, I did involve myself in sport activities like Frisbee and Volleyball and I engaged myself more in photographing sport events.
4) Referring to number 3, I actually joined volleyball tournament (last minute - with only two times of practice) #yololikethat but in the end we (Phoenix) got the 5th placing. I felt dumb at times for not receiving the ball properly but thanks a lot for the offer, opportunity and experience to be part of this awesome team. :)
5) I wanted to join Frisbee match BUT it clashed with standard chartered marathon so yeah :(
6) Speaking of standard chartered marathon... I ran for 1 hour and 24 minutes on a 10km route. Not sure if it's an achievement for first timer but well..I was so  glad that I reached the finishing line :D
7) If there is an award of self-accomplishment unlock, I'd dedicate this award to myself for covering 7 events out of idk how many events of IMU Cup 2014 obamaself, as in all by myself, namely ; Dance, Basketball, Table Tennis, Frisbee, Swimming, Football and Cheerleading. :D It was my first attempt in sports photography, to be honest. So usually I go with zero experience, zero expectation - I hope (however) that the photos came out good.

Thanks for the constant feedback, comments and encouragement on my photos and skills. Thanks to a few friends of mine who are very kind to borrow me their cameras for this photoshooting as well. :)
Do check out at IMU Photography facebook page if you wanna view more shots!

......
Of course, when good times were over, stressful times passed by. When play time is over, it's time to work hard for academic, not allowing myself to repeat the same old mistakes again.
We had two class tests before officially headed to another 10 weeks of clinical posting.

See?
So many postings. Don't ask me why again. It has got something to do with my future profession. We need to be practically involved most of the time in order to brush up our skills. Am truly sorry to friends whom I rejected to go out for outing recently. It's not like I want to be so occupied, but my schedule itself already made my life busy, hope you guys understand that :)

SO, speaking of where I am now - I am currently at my 6th week of clinical posting at Surgical ward!
5 weeks was spent wonderfully at the Medical ward with Ms. V. 

Y'know the male medical ward is forever busy, but if you managed to get through the messiness, craziness and the busyness, the outcome is really great. Countless of learning experiences can be attained, the sense of achievement is always there :) There were hard times, in which I was confused with myself, my wrongdoings, my mistakes but as time passes, I know that all these will be worth it in the end.

All I gotta do is to be thick face enough to face my mistakes/embarrassments, be brave enough to admit them, be strong enough to recorrect them, and be patient enough to improve them.
/I sound so philosophical lulz/


I have to say that, I am one of the very lucky fellows because I get to do quite a number of new procedures (that are newly learnt in sem 3) at Medical ward. Actually, opportunities are everywhere, one of the tutors said. It's up to us whether or not we want to be initiative to learn and grab it or waste it just like that. True, true.

In the midst of 6 working days, I did spend some quality time pampering myself by visiting BBW booksales, disturbing my ex-working mates during the sales, and watching the Hobbit : The Battle of the Five Armies with Pau and Shaf! :D 

The whole MIDDLE EARTH SAGA is totally awesome! J.R.R. Tolkien is truly a genius. How can he think of creatures like orcs, goblins, wizards, elves, dwarfs and make them all the characters in a few books which then turned into a movie? :O Not to mention about the plot, which was focused solely on the ring and the world of darkness!
I don't think I will get tired of watching these 6 movies over and over again, like seriously :)

 2014 ;
-Is well known for its raining seasons
-Is not a good year for most Malaysians ; as hundreds of lives were sacrificed #MH370 #MH17 #QZ8501 . All the thoughts and prayers go to their family members and their loved ones.
 -Is bittersweet for me.
-So many ' first time' attempt in a year. Glad to have different kind of experiences in 24 months :)

2014 changed me in many ways. Good and bad, you name it.


Sometimes in life we need to be..
bold (when encountering mistakes),
not too dependent (as long as you can do it by your own, DO IT.),
smart (to grab chances),
firm (when making decisions) ,
persistent (in achieving goals),
strong (in all situations), 
passionate (in doing things that we love)
humble (in learning)
and
initiative (to start and to inspire).

2014 sped like crazy especially when you're busy, self-equipped with activities - one after another continuously. Time is always, always a better runner.

Nevertheless, I am glad that upon chasing time, all my hours in 2014 are filled with something, which kept me away from unnecessary thoughts but to treasure every single minute I have to the maximum.

Enjoy the little things in life. Because they are free!

So it actually took two solid semesters for me to understand what nursing is, what nurses can do or cannot. At least I am not so nooby anymore. Don't call me a nurse yet, because I am still learning, still exploring and I'm halfway there. :)
And thank you to all of you who shape me into a better person each day!

...
Epilogue For this coming new year, I just want three simple things.

Be safe

Be healthy and happy

Be better than yesterday -everyday

Life is too short to plan what you're going to do for a year. Enjoy where you are now, now is the moment!

 ...
Alright guys, I am closing these beautiful chapters of my life in another few more sentences. Photos uploaded here are snapped by yours truly except that GIF image.
Thank you so much for reading!
Farewell, 2014! /waves/
You will be remembered :)

And...
Happy new year!


 
Signing off,
PK