Hai-po-free-eh-nee-ah ;

I honestly would like to compliment the person for creating such a word, which oxford dictionary (online) can't even define it! Kay. You're a genius, whoever-who's-creating-this.

Am not even sure whether the meaning fits the word, but it sounds cool so hypophrenia it is!

My current mood, by the way.

Well, well. *about to start some old grandmother stories

It all started yesterday, afternoon I reckon, after an announcement about having a replacement class next Saturday to be extremely precise. :(

Since I left Convent Kajang, my dear high school, I've been dying to go back there, to visit the teachers, the juniors that I've known for years but none of this is coming true because I can't go back home during weekdays, only weekends.

I've heard from the young juniors saying that they will be having a Sports Day next Saturday which I think it is a great opportunity to step back into my school compound, to look back at the place whether there's any changes, to visit back the newly-built guide's cottage and yes I miss my school's field, basketball courts, corridors, classes - everything! 

I CAN'T go back for god's sake this time yet again because I HAVE TO attend the important replacement class, I just HAVE TO. :( I even planned to have a photography shooting at every corner of my school early morning, le sigh.
Can you feel how frustrated I was when I heard the news? Can you?

Don't get me wrong. I am sincerely not blaming anyone in this case. Just a slight dissapointment that things don't go as planned.

Life.

Some friends asked : Why do you miss your high school so much? Isn't college life wayyyy cooler?

Sure, it is cool. However, I'm still proud to be one of the Convent students. The school gave me so much memories for at least ten years, which I have been studying - half staying, knowing each and every of the dark secrets and god knows I spent a decade of my life there, how can I forget so easily, you tell me.
The multiracial friends ranging from seniors to juniors that I've made though imperfect but still one of the nicest thing that had happened in my life. The dedicated teachers that brought so much laughter as well as I'm-not-going-to-say-much-but-I-assume-you-should-know-moments.

I really really miss school.

Alright, alright. Enough of the rants, I'll accept the facts and will be going with the flow.

Today.

From my past experience, learning new terms is awfully interesting but it is a nuisance sometimes when you don't get what your lecturers are actually talking about, ended up you have to further read up and do research about it. Ha. To some point, I had come to a realisation the mistake I did and that made me think back for what I did for AS. *gulp.

Sheez, am not going to mention anymore, what has passed is a past, no longer is present or future.

Mind was full of drowsiness and thoughts. Concentration during the class kinda failed the whole entire morning, I would say. Thanks to my non-sensical dream, my brain's too tired to  think of anything. Even the study plan this afternoon at the library wasn't  going as smoothly as I thought. It was exceptionally cold today, don't ask me why.
As you know, my college's library is never known for its warmness, so if you want to feel numb physically, feel free to any of the floors and allow your teeth to chatter excitingly.

For some reason, I think the cold environment is one of the reason why I am feeling moodless too. Crappy excuse? I know. (hahahhaaha in silent :P )

Some saying goes like this ;

The beginning is always the hardest. So you must never ever give up.

which is true. I've always believe that nothing in in the world comes easy and free for you. You have to battle and struggle first before you come to own all kinds of enjoyment in life.
Yeah.


It's funny when people around you shoot you a question like :
"Why you don't seem to be upset whenever I see you?"


Whaaaaat a joke. Truth to be told, I never really show my depressing face unless I am very deeply emotional due to a somewhat relevant-epic-sad-reason, the worse I could go is just stay silent for the whole day, of not talking or trying to talk or laugh even at the lamest joke or even bother to listen to any juicy gossips/stories, appearing to be very tired, wanting to sleep away all the depression.
But most of the time, I pretended that nothing was wrong, telling self that it's okay for multimillion times, smiling all day just to kill the mini sad moments I had.
Spreading bad moods to friends is what I hate to do and it's a totally no-no for me to see friends upset because of my present negative feelings.


Of course, at certain situations, I do seek for friends that I trusted to share my feelings and also to ask for opinions. :) Warning first : I don't go for suicide or is stupid enough to take any pills just to calm myself down. Hell no.


So, don't worry. I was just having a moodless day, not emotional definitely.
A perfectly well defined term : A feeling of sadness seemingly without a cause. There you go.


(cheered up mood) :)

Now may you please allow me to laugh at this one?


xD