They said ,

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Of all the searched photos, I found this, which truly describes my current, up-to-date mood. It feels sucks, actually.

Not because of exam, (well it does partly related to that) but it's rather about.. a question.

A question, which was being issued by a friend of mine to a lecturer,

Q : Will you choose talents? or.. hardwork?

A : HARDWORK.
(with no hesitation in his voice.)

Really?

Is that just all?

But why I don't seem to be seeing any of this happening in my life? 

Am I being too impatient?

Probably.

Yes, I'm answering this to myself, just to do some self-reminder, before I go from upset to.. depressed.

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Perhaps, it's not enough. Perhaps, I have been too unwilling to wait. Or perhaps, my speed isn't there to fight with time, yet.

You know, the very important test, this time which I shall name it as trials, for short, is extremely important to me all of us, where THIS trials can determine where we actually stand and how far are we from the grades.

To stand beside A's?

It's hard. Really really hard.

Apart of being worried, I've lost some sense of believe and faith a few hours ago. All of my doubts came rushing and messed me up. How in the world can I study not for exam but for myself?

I've gone from normal to a steady stress level to a complete berserk mode during these last-minute-studies.

Being the good child, I've set a discipline plan for self by not tweeting nor facebooking, to avoid these addictive-distractions and also to stay away from the cyberworld unless I really really need it for urgent cases like assignments. :(

BUT THIS does not indicates that I hold my book where-when-ever I go, memorising facts, studying like a geek. No way,

I do sing. I sleep. I eat. I play. I even daydream for most of the time. Because.. I am a human being too!

Now, who has the dare to say that I go for 24/7 study when I do not appear online? Screw you if that thought has ever came across your mind. :(

I could have listed the negative impacts of exams on human beings, physically, mentally as well as emotionally aspects here, one by one but trust me, it is pointless.

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Replace the phrases "do you keep crying" to "are you being sad".

Regret? 

I can't. It has been a mistake that can't be undone, once again. Soon, all these will be compiled into somewhat called helpful lessons for me to become better later on.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I hate being the sooooo unlike-self, who is soooooooooooo emotional to the life I'm having right now.

As Mr. L's current status was about,

"On call 47 days for AS."

Yes, now I'm very aware of that, sir. Thank you for the reminder, and thank you for not stopping to give me that kind of hate-able stares which I really really feel upset about whenever I see you.

.......

As time passes by slowly, I've learnt that things are not meant to be taken too seriously. Be satisfied if you have done your best in trying every single thing in life, and that does not exclude the questions in exam no matter how long it takes. As long as there is some effort being poured, you know that you're on the finishing road, but not reaching your destination just yet.

The being-open-minded mindset within me has evolved slowly from a point of view, to another. It doesn't have to be tolerant only to opinions, it also can be applicable in receiving flaws? or simply the mistakes that human beings made in life.

Just two hours ago, I've done watching a movie called,

which I would rate it 3.0/5.0. 

All I can comment is it is just another average, romance movie. A little bit boring but the sense of humour got me til the end.

What caught my attention was sayings like .. .. .... 

1) I have loved her even when I've hated her. 

Only married couples will understand that one.

2) But I can promise you this : 

I will never stop trying.

At least,

I'm feeling so so so much better after all these words being all typed here. Is self-motivating-case like this scaring you? Tell me bout it. (I hope it's not).

That's pretty much the way I release my moodless feeling, not to any person via phone/text/MMS/videocalls/skype/facebook but to a non-living site of mine, here.

Truly sorry if you've spent your precious time and energy reading all these crappy thoughts.

Meanwhile, I'll be having Chemistry Paper 1 tomorrow afternoon and Physic Paper 1 the day after. Am not exactly sure whether I'll ace them or screw them. But most probably it will be the second choice if luck is not on my side.

Just.. .. .. wish me luck?