Life is a bitter-sweet

Chinese New Year is in another 3 days.

Seriously?

I'm being unrealistic again, I know. But this is beyond fast.

I'll be receving angpows in another three freaking days? Oh, come on. *slap self*

And I'll be meeting the same people, but older face, mature kids who have turn into youngsters, all the grown up or newborn nieces and nephews?

Time passes by EXTREMELY fast.

Honestly speaking, I can't see any CNY mood in myself. Sad, isn't it?
Everyone's shopping for clothes, house decorations, new shoes and even *NEW* angpows.
Boy.boy.
The main reason I am not anticipate for this event to come is, I'm fear to be asked, about what my dream career is as I've mentioned before that I received rejection and discourage more than acceptance.
I am fear of dissapointment.
I am fear of negative thoughts that make me give up. (I hate to give up)
I am fear of humiliating moment.
I am fear of my results.

That sums it all.

I'm still looking, browsing, through articles. Or maybe not. They are left untouched :/

What's wrong with me?

...

I shouldn't wait, I know. I really really should make up my mind, at this point.

3 more days, relatives will be asking, questioning, making me puzzle, headache all over again.

And I have to give my sarcastic face, smiling to their purposely sarcasm dialougue.

No lie. It's tensing.

...

2 more days.

tomorrow, I promise. I will look through them again, and again..

for the fifth time.