Lost and found.

I've been wanting to pen down my long overdue thoughts for the longest time. Here I am, typing all of this on the new year's eve.

My last entry was dated on January 2021, expressing my hope for everyone to be mask free completely.

And now we are mask-less (which is already a dream come true), but only when you're in the public open space. You still need to don your mask when you're in a healthcare setting, taking public transport or encouraged to wear one when you're in indoor area.

Good news for the healthcare provider is that they have officially downgraded the cruel n95 mask to normal surgical mask as a must wear PPE in the hospital. *hoorah  

For that I'm thankful. ❤️

...

Well today's journal would be a confused, gloomy one (later on followed by happy jolly ones).
Bear with me, I need to let things out so I can think and rationalise better /well, hopefully/.

2022  has been.. I don't know how to describe but I think it's a transformative year for me. I've become someone fairly new through the smallest littlest way. The whole year swift by so fast to the point I felt like I have not done anything the entire year.

My introvert-extrovert meter has gone slightly haywired. 

Being an ambivert myself, idk why this year I tend to sway towards introversion too much to the point I became cuckoo for a while. 

It's like I rather being at home watching movies/indoor yoga rather than staying out to socialise til' late night unless you're my loved ones or close circle of friends, well then that's another story.

But truthfully speaking, I really enjoy being at home. A lot more in fact.
Resting and recuperating from life especially after a long exhausting day.

However being home too much sometimes feels like being caged. 

Hence on and off I do head out to take a breather, to see the world, to feel the extrovert self again. Yes, I need that balance. Ambivert is strange and ambivert is me. heh.

..

This long-covid normalising year makes me feel so lost at times. Lost because I used to (before 2020) have long term goals of what I want to do/achieve but those plans/goals seems to have crashed in million pieces since coronavirus took over. And now? any long term goals seems to be very scary and daunting. 

So nowadays I make short term goals and plans instead. It sounds more realistic and achievable. Also simply, life's short.

So aside from all the personal changes, I've moved to a new place at the beginning of the year! The process of looking for affordable rooms, strategic location, transport to work, accessibility to the nearest MRT, the freedom to cook, own personal space.. and with the extreme price hike due to inflation or whatever reason.. surely wasn't easy and no doubt stressful. 

But I'm so glad that I have a very kind person to look out with me hence it eased the process.

The completion of moving to a new place took roughly around 2 weeks. Mostly travelled and moved by foot and I must say it was adrenaline inducing. 

Thankfully, all is well now. I'm all good in my new comfort space! :)

Decluttering, recycling, donating, selling and giving away things I don't need have been my favourite routine now. It helps me to realise the big disadvantage of being a hoarder (although I'm not a horrible hoarder) but it does kick some sense into my brain after this experience. 

"Buy things ONLY if you need."

"Do NOT keep things just because it is nice and memorable. 

If you don't use it, give it away".

Yeap that's that.

Also I remember back in 2020-2021 I was feeling kind of gloomy on some days hence I kept myself very busy with many things so I don't feel sad. So that whole period I was really busy building myself up mostly via sports and I really didn't have time to dwell on those unnecessary sorrowful events.

Then towards the end of 2021 I felt that it's unhealthy to live like that because feelings are valid. Sadness and frustrations are all part of the feelings. Embrace them. Cry. Sob. Sigh. And that's okay.

And this year, I let myself feel all of those. 😂
Goddamnit I regret for feeling ALL of those because it sucks, haha. I let emotions took over a lot of times and I have became unwise and think a lot. Gosh, those moments were suffering. I swear it's so hard to live by sometimes. 😅 

don't worry, it's over and I'm okay!

Well to summarise, 2022 is just a whole period of me being confused and lost, finding myself through the missing bits and pieces and I can't believe I am actually experiencing this on my last year being in the 20s. /facepalm/

Too surreal.

Feels like I'm back to my teenage days lulz, maybe this is the adult version?

And with all these minor progressive changes that I'm experiencing, it trains my patience and adaptation skills even further. The outrageous adaptation towards life, work, hurdles, people's behavior and ever changing situations sometimes make me feel so hard to cope but I told myself, 

"one step at a time. Slowly but surely". 

Somehow it helps and I'm glad that I made it through. ❤️

...

Oh wellss. 2022 is a good experimental year for sure.

Time to find balance for the following:

-intro-extroversion.
-being occupied vs letting emotions taking over.
-giving vs reserving.

/finger crossed/

Alrighty folks, gloomy melancholy emotions aside, this year is definitely a year of touching reunion with my family and friends at home. FINALLY the border has opened. I still remember watching touching video of Malaysians walking over to Johor immigration at midnight via the bridge after the announcement. /wipe side tears/

And my dog! Did you know that I have a doggie at home now? Hehe. His name is Xiao Hei. I've grown so much love towards this little being although it was just a short couple of meet ups. He hasn't seen me and didn't know my presence at all. However his heartwarming pawshake and tail wagging always warm my heart whenever I make a trip home. ❤️

That's Xiao Hei right there, top right of the collage. 😊

Wait, did I mention that I was sick frequently but for short period this year? Sore throat x2, episodic diarrhea x2, bad menses cramps yada yada and I'm still a covid virgin? HAHA ✌️ idk how that works. It's just so strange yet I'm so thankful at the same time!

And the acute minor low back pain I suffered due to improper muscle engagement during backbend yoga was an eye opening experience for me. I didn't realise I strain it until the next day. The ache and pain at the lower spine whenever I stand was.. horrendous!

Which is why it's so so important to listen to your body and recognising your capability. Activate your core and squeeze your glutes. They help. Your lower spine will thank you!

But that experience itself did not hinder me or traumatise me to continue yoga. I was speaking to a kind friend, who's also my yoga teacher. Attended his virtual lesson, also a backbend class but this time round I was listening to his cues very attentively and flowed at my limit. My lower back instantly felt better the next day! thank the good Lord.

I injured and healed through yoga. How ironic that sounds!
Every healing and recovery process is wonderful and I appreciate all of it. 🙏

Speaking of yoga, I've been practising rather consistently. Besides attending physical lessons, I also made time for virtual classes because I'm used to it and it's quite affordable compared to all the physical lessons.

I had goals, for sure. Hence I keep practising even after class. Recorded myself, reviewed myself and laughed at myself. Most importantly I look at my own body alignment and question my teachers if I have any doubt. That's how I learn and improve I guess. 

My proudest achievement is definitely getting to headstand within 6 months after a series of continual discovering and practising. Hip hip hooray! 🥳

Now moving forward I can actually do headstands' variations! I am seriouslyyyy not sure how I did it but the exhilarating and happy moment was unreal!! :')

Even my core strength and back bend (especially forearm wheel) has improved so much!
Hehe I think the best part of all these achievements is that I don't feel pain/ache in any parts of my body and I am free from injury. That's a good indicator that I'm on the right track and I can continue to practise safely. 😊

Now my next target is on hamstring and hip flexor flexibility, albeit it's gonna take a really long time but I really can't wait for my transformation the following year. Front and side splits are my ultimate goals. Not to forget unassisted handstand and pincha too. I'm gonna get those done and right. One step at a time. Double fingers crossed!

..
On another note, I'm so glad to be away from work for a while. Finally stepping into education again, a plan I've wanted to achieve 2 years ago. 

Feel a little strange to be a student again at this age. My last active studying was 5 years ago. 😮

Nevertheless it's good to make the neurons active again. Learning has been great and fun so far! But chasing after the endless assignments is not. No lie, it consumes so much of my time that the only time I think I'm breathing well (and totally stress free) is during eating, showering and sleeping. 😂

Welcome back to student life eh pk?

Oh before I forgot, I'd love to mention that I finally travel after 2 long covid yearsssss!
It was at somewhere near, at Semporna, Sabah. I had amazing time enjoying the breathtaking blue-est sea and interacting with mother nature. Semporna islands are pretty similar to the majestic popular Maldives and I'm so glad I get a small taste of it at my homeland, Malaysia. :)

I had my first snorkeling experience in a big blue sea , my first solo kayak and my first luxurious resort stay at a beautiful place far far away from the city.

I don't think I'm gonna blog about it because I have no time, haha. But I did briefly talk about it at my ig! Feel free to browse whenever you feel like it and at your own leisure time!

And to end the year, I had another luxurious, relaxing staycation (sponsored by coughs-my workplace-coughs), it was absolutely chilling, unforgettable and amazing with a great companion and I wouldn't want to have it any other way. It's something so precious and I will cherish deeply.

All in all, I'm contented. Although I felt sucky a lot of times. It's still a learning curve year, finding pieces of myself again.

I've learnt to distance myself from extremely toxic individuals who took me and my kindness for granted. I've learnt to treasure my close circle even more, shower them with strength and love, expressing my care and concern towards them whenever I can. Because I feel, every fleeting moment is so precious. I didn't want to miss out any opportunity to say I miss them/I care for them. Oh dear that sounds so cringey! but yeah.

I've also learnt to be someone who is less dramatic, more problem focused, less dilly dally, more straight to the point when it comes to facing a crisis.

Being someone who is somewhat similar to life "workaholic" I've really learnt to stop once in a while to rest. Or just spend really quiet quality time with my closed ones. 🥰

I guess that's all, mates! I feel so much better, typing all out. 😊
I don't know what's ahead, let's take things as it comes. Doing my best in everything, finding balance, stay healthy, not taking too hard on myself when things doesn't happen as wished/hoped/dreamed/planned, staying persevere, level headed, positive, strong and kind. 

Whoop, that's a lot there. 😂

Let's roll into 2023 with fireballs of strength and positivity, honey. Have a blessed 2023!!

Hope.

 

One day.

January is tough,

Not gonna lie. First two weeks were pretty overwhelming. I have never really felt what I am feeling right now - a mixture of all feelings.

Confused. Angry (a few days back). Frustrated. Demotivated. Melancholy. Tiring. Hopeless. Moodless. Anxious. Easily sensitive. Stressed. Missing people. Worries. Messed up. Overthinking. All over the place. Heartbroken (of hearing a few sad stories). Mindbroken. Physically damaged (zits, zits everywhere!). Biologically haywire (not sick or anything, just irregular menses). Emotionally challenged. Mentally numb. Stuck. Lack of interest in socialising. Feels like shutting myself out of the world.

Basically I am just not feeling myself, at all. And it sucks. So so much.

I remember January started off with continuous downpour. I figured it must be God's blessing for the general sad 2020 that happened so during the first week, weather has been the chilliest, most likely the best weather I've ever experienced in a country with equatorial climate.

2021 started off pretty well but as the days go by, I started to feel all kinds of feelings in accumulation, each day. I am usually not easily affected and it takes me a while to ward off such negativity and toxicity but I think I was feeling a bit too overwhelmed at some point which I don't know why..

Maybe too much happenings/stressors at a time?

Let's see..

    I remember contemplating whether to take the covid-19 vaccine as there were some reported side effects that wasn't great to hear. (you may think that I'm silly to even contemplate about it as others who want to secure the vaccine badly don't even have the chance to choose) But then again, if I don't take the vaccine, chances of me going back home/travel again would be very slim so I have no other choice.

...

    Recently, my homecountry is undergoing lockdown 2.0 which they called it MCO 2.0. Good for them actually, but for the leaders to finally announce and implement lockdown after so many thousands cases that spike daily and exhausting my fellow healthcare friends who all work so tirelessly at the hospital everyday -actually made me furious. I've been hearing my best friend telling me how bad the situation is in the hospital, patients are deteriorating quickly, beds in ICU are running out. And people are still FREAKING GOING OUT WITHOUT MASK and do not adhere to the SOP, how is that not frustrating you tell me?!

With all the political dramas that happened during the pandemic, my country is pretty messed up currently, governed by leaders who strangely we did not vote for and with all the "State of Emergency" taking place suddenly.. I'm wordless, man.

Last week,

a patient's dad/ me

Are you Malaysian?
Yes I am, sir. Are you?
Yes I am. My wife and I are Malaysians. I'm sad to hear on what happened to Malaysia currently.. Malaysia is such a beautiful country, rich with nature and good food! It is truly a heaven.. but look at what happened now..

I hear you, sir.. It's truly saddening to know the country we loved is experiencing a hard time right now. :(

Both sighed.

....

A lot of you asked me,

"When are you coming back?"

"Are you coming back for CNY?"

Looking at the situation, how can I head back? That's the saddest question which I WISH I can give an answer to.

Anyhoo, don't take it so lightly and don't think the virus is nothing, my fellow Malaysians. You may not know the consequences of this pandemic until it hits you. Until it attacks every of your lung cells, until you experience the extreme shortness of breath to the point you need a machine to help you to breathe, or worse you need medicines and machines to help your lungs, heart, and kidneys to function. Trust me, I had been there nursing patients like that in full PPEs and that sight is heartaching. And your family members cannot come to visit you, touch you, be there with you if anything happens to you when you're hospitalised and isolated in isolation rooms. It's really really sad.

So please. Please just stay at home, work from home, travel out for groceries when it is really necessary, wear your face masks, practise social distance and practise good hand hygiene. Please don't be negligent about it.

....

    Work has been great thus far, not complaining but sometimes I feel demotivated to go to work. I've been working and working- non stop for the past one year, only took one week of AL last year, keeping the rest of the leaves for this year, hoping I could utilise them to visit home.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy what I do daily. I enjoy nursing and helping patients with my knowledge and skills but just sometimes it feels tiring. It feels like I haven't really taken a proper break, pampering myself, travelling (the best I did was to travel within Singapore) and adding on to missing family and homecooked food I guess that explains..

Generally, I would say.. above mentioned feelings are no big deal. Really.

Just not too sure what happened to my brain and mind that I suddenly undergo all of them at one shot, feels like I'm intoxicated with so many things and I'm learning to cope and go through day by day, hoping to feel better and chirpier.

It's so important to stand strong with my values/directions and stay focused but I have to be honest, it is so so hard. ugh.

Let's take one day at a time, make peace, let go whatever that bothers and not to be too hard on yourself. 

Time to plan what to do on your coming off days and potential annual leave days, PK.

Remember, 

"you may not be easy today but you're not going to be difficult forever."

Hang in there! 💪❤️

My Cycling Stories

I've started aggressively cycling since Aug 2020, thanks to my one week of AL which I thought it would be boring at first. My first few cycling journey began with just around the Marina Bay Sand area, then slowly proceeding to East Coast Park and steadily.. I joined these little locations to become a huge distance of wonder and adventure.

Before every cycling trip, I usually will pre-plan on the spots I wish to visit/end OR trail that I wish to explore. NParks Sg is a great website to begin as it has maps of the different trails that bikers can explore. Sometimes I feel that the maps displayed at the website are pretty general, it does not exactly reflects the real road/lane that we suppose to turn. So besides the map posted at the site, I do rely on Google Maps (walking) as well. 

So far google Maps has brought me to 'exciting' lanes/places where I need to carry my bikes across the pedestrian bridge... 😂 Pretty surprising but it was good kind of adventure.

When I have figured out on the places I'd love to go, I can roughly know the duration of my journey and plan the time that I am kicking off at my starting point. Another point to take note is the weather check on that day itself. It'd be all pointless to plan everything nicely but the gloomy sky decided to give a good heavy downpour on that day. So weather play a crucial role in a great cycling trip as well!

Based on the Park Connector Network (PCN) shown at NParks Sg , I've completed Northern Explorer Loop, Eastern Coastal Loop and North Eastern Riverine Loop. 

Left with Central Urban Loop (though I have been some parts of the PCN mentioned in this loop), Western Adventure Loop, Coast to Coast trail and Round Island Route for me to explore slowly..

Here, sharing some of the trails I have covered :

                                      

For this Northern Explorer Loop Trail, I chose Woodland Jetty as my destination. Started off at Lower Seletar Reservoir, I cycled through Yishun Avenue 1, heading towards Mandai Avenue then to Mandai Road. 

Note: Along the way it's one way (SLOPE). You may experience fast heartbeat and catching your breath as you ride. It's pretty normal. Don't panic! Just remember to stop if you feel tired. Otherwise please enjoy the journey and please enjoy the greenery scenery on your left as you ride. :)

Once you reach Mandai Park Connector (which is on your left side), do not proceed to ride all the way up. Take note that you'll have to ride across the road to enter Ulu Sembawang Park Connector.

It's another foresty Park Connector that will make you excited, for a while. It feels as though you have entered another mystery mini greenery place. 

Mind you, there's another STEEP slope to the top (roughly around 60m?). Ride hard, try your best -I promise after this 60m slope you'll have the best time of your life riding freely downslope with the free wind blowing through every cell of your body!! (weeeeeee)

Okay. After that just ride all the way through the Ulu Sembawang PCN (it's a one way trail anyway).. then exit the PCN, passing through Ulu Sembawang Flyover and enter Woodland PCN on the left.

When you're here, I'm certain that you'd be screaming again because there's another slope up... 😂 but keep riding, keep keep riding,  love.

Once you are at the end of this PCN, you'll be entering Woodlands Avenue 2. Just ride all the way up for a few kilometres until you meet Admiralty Road. Turn right to Admiralty Road then ride all the way up until you see Woodland Waterfront signboard. Turn left to your destination and voila! You have reached your destination which is so so close to Johor Bahru, a river away from dear home.

Woodland Jetty is a place where many would gather to fish or just 'lepak' around. It's a great place to watch sunset (though I haven't witness it myself but from the google Image I stumbled upon.. it looks amazing!)

....

NEXT UP!

Northern Eastern Riverine Loop

                   

I started off at Hougang heading to Punggol Park (a beautiful park!), entering Sungei Serangoon Park Connector, riding all the way until Lorong Halus bridge (amazing, famous, photogenic red bridge), then heading to Punggol Promenade Park. 

Along the way you will enjoy great scenery of nature as well, you'll notice Coney island on your right and a view of Punggol HDBs on your left. Once you passed through west entrance of Coney Island, please continue to ride towards Sengkang Riverside Park.

When you're on the way, there are a few areas that you may need to take notice to turn, which I don't know how to explain it here. I followed the signboard but sometimes I missed it even with the help of Google Maps. So be careful, ride slow. Don't miss a turn! Once you miss it you have to make a u-turn then figure out the way to where you suppose to turn.

It was 7+pm that day, pretty dark when I was on the way to Sengkang Riverside park, hence I didn't turn but keep riding until I see a road. I rode through Kampong Lorong Buangkok, heading towards Yio Chu Kang road, Ang Mo Kio Avenue 5 and Ang Mo Kio Avenue 10, slowly reached Bishan-Ang Mo Kio park at almost 9pm? McDonald was my dinner then.

:)

.....

This trip was one of my favourite, happiest ride I'd say because the weather was absolutely AMAZING! As you can really tell from the pictures.

I started off from Bishan-Ang Mo Kio park, riding up to Punggol Park via Ang Mo Kio Avenue 10, Ang Mo Kio Avenue 5, passing through Luxus Hill Park. I used the same route as before, heading towards Sengkang Riverside Park -this time I entered the park because it was bright and sunny. 

When I exited the park, I rode towards Jalan Kayu. It was a slight slope up on Jalan Kayu, I almost got lost here because I missed the little roundabout to Piccadily road. Hence I'd advise you guys to ride slowly again, to check on the Google Maps properly so that you can notice the little roundabout!

Once you reach the Piccadilly, ride smoothly all the way up then turn left to Seletar Aerospace Drive. You'll pass by many beautiful cafes such as Wheeler's Estate, Soek Seng Bicycle Cafe and Hampstead Wetlands Park. 

Just cycle all the way (follow the signboard to Rower's Bay Park). You have to cross a road in order to reach Rower's Bay Park though. I don't know why but this park is always full of little bugs which I don't really fancy... It's a pretty chilled park where people do a mini picnic, fish or a place for couples to date! I was very surprised that the sunset view here was breathtaking! I stopped here for a while to enjoy the golden hour before I departed to Lower Seletar Reservoir.

In order to reach Lower Seletar Reservoir, you will need to cycle through Yishun dam on a rocky, unsmooth pavement. Be very very slow and careful here as you may meet some joggers and other cyclists too. It's a narrow pavement so make sure to slow down and give way when necessary!

After the Yishun dam, please turn left towards Yishun Avenue 1. Ride all the way to Lower Seletar to enjoy the rest of the sunset if the sun is still setting! :)

I rode back home via Lentor Avenue and Ang Mo Kio Avenue 6 thereafter. It was a fulfilling evening cycle that's for sure! ❤️

.....

                                                                

                                              

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

As you can tell.. I did multiple cycling trips for this.. haha. Most of the time I started off at City Hall MRT station slowly riding to Marina Bay Sand via National Gallery Singapore and Anderson Bridge. then slowly heading to Gardens by the Bay, Marina Barrage and all the way to East Coast Park!

Pretty easy to ride for this trail. There was this one time I rode until Pasir Ris MRT station, passing through the horrendous never ending yet famous Tanah Merah Coast Road (TMCR) and Changi Beach Park. I swear the first time I encountered TMCR, I almost wanted to cry. The never ending road felt so so crazy.. and with not much interesting view, I almost gave up but I just can't.. because that region has only one bus stop and I simply can't give up so easily!!

Reaching Changi Beach Park was such a relief. I stopped by Changi Village Hawker Centre for lunch, tried a few popular food there. Pretty good I must say! Then the journey to Pasir Ris MRT was a little dreadful as well,  as Google Maps brought me to shortcuts, carrying bikes lanes again.. plus the scorching hot weather blasting through me.. it was a rather dehydrating day.

Did I also mention that.. there was a grumpy (yet kind) man who yelled at me to be CAREFUL of cars when I was checking google maps while riding? I was very startled at his sudden yell, almost skidded but didn't! Thank the good Lord.

....

                  

Visiting Soek Seng Bicycle Cafe has been one of the places I wished to check and I'm happy to finally checked this cafe out of my list :D 

Started off at Bishan-Ang Mo Kio park again, slowly riding up to Punggol to meet a friend. Then we cycled all the way to Seletar through the ways I mentioned before.. had our heartiest lunch at the cafe then we rode and parted our ways to our respective places after that!

It was another chilled, well spent off day, exploring different places. :)

...

Hehe so I guess that's about it for my cycling stories at the moment.

I'll continue to share as I cycle/explore more. HOPEFULLY, I'll have the time to blog like this again.

Don't know if this is helpful to any of you (who's interested in exploring Singapore via 🚲) but feel free to approach me to ask for more! :) I'd be my utmost pleasure to share!

I can never forget this day. The day I took a leap of faith to venture into the city despite the uncertain weather. Turned out that the weather was unbelievably amazing. Clear sky, fluffy clouds, beautiful city lights! And this is definitely a very happy picture of PK :) 

Til' the next blog entry, y'all!

xx

Just 12 hours ago, I went on a 72km of adventure via a rental bicycle (the usual bike that I rent but today's heavier). I've been wanting to achieve a little something in 2020 after seeing so many motivational, encouraging and inspirational cycling stories posted by fellow SG cyclists at Facebook.

Though I may not own a bicycle by myself here but I think it's quite doable (using the rental bikes) by continuous practice, trainings and a few cycling trip to familarise with the route!

And after weeks of planning... it was finally made possible! *celebrates*

I prayed very hard for good acceptable weather for the past weeks.. It has been pouring cats and dogs for months.. I couldn't wait for more hence I decided to do it on last day of 2020. Leisurely with no pressure. I was holding this mindset as I cycled, 

"If the weather decided to rain, then so be it. Let's enjoy and embrace every moment, just the way it is."

...

My cycling journey started at 1315hrs, ended at approximately 2135hrs. 8 hours 30 minutes of outdoors including rest and makan time. Actual cycling journey roughly took about.. 7 hours and 19 minutes?

                                 

Starting point was Bishan-Ang Mo Kio park, then slowly heading to Punggol-Lorong Halus PCN- Pasir Ris Town Park- Changi Village via Aloha Loyang, then to the famous never ending Tanah Merah Coast Road (TMCR), East Coast Park (ECP), Marina Bay, Kallang, and back to my starting point!

I wasn't looking forward to ride on TMCR to be honest! Cause' it's super long stretch and it always feels boring! I told myself, 

"It's alright. Think of nothing, just keep riding" and voila! It was rather a surprising smooth and quick journey. :D

Along the TMCR road though, my bike slipped to the left as I wanted to avoid a group of people. I didn't fell onto the pavement because one kind man managed to catch me just in time as I fell with my bike. 

"Easy, easy!" he said. I'm terribly sorry!!

"Don't worry. Take your time", he said.

How very polite and kind of him! 

Sorry once again as I got up with his help. But thank you so much!! and... I zoomed off in utter embarrassment.

Little accidents like this tend to happen when we (the cyclist or the pedestrians) are not careful or vigilant enough. I have learnt to 'ring the bell' no matter how far I am, to alert people around me that I'm coming from somewhere so that we all can be vigilant and safe together. Always, always slow down. Balance well, brake appropriately and ring the bell, PK!!

Nonetheless, I'm home safe and all bubbly! Thank the Lord.

                                

I must say I've been blessed with good and breezy weather today. Everywhere I cycle the place must have rained so I managed to escape some heavy downpour timing!

Also, I wanted to change to a lighter bike (such as Anywheel) so badly midway through cuz' heavier bikes with heavy paddles are bad for the knees for a long long ride. But PERSISTENCE brought me through!! It was not easy to ride up the slope especially with SgBike... hence for that.. GOOOD JOB PK!

Such a feel good accomplishment yesterday. My exploration of Singapore via bike is getting bigger as I go! Hopefully next time I'd explore the West side..? :) We will see.

Brb gonna completely rest in bed (CRIB)! Can't feel my dear knees now, like literally *cries emoji

xx

2020.

🌻 Beginning of my new decade started really well with wonderful CNY celebration with my loved ones at home until... until covid-19 happens.

I still remember vividly that when I was on the way home from Singapore, first covid-19 case was detected in Singapore. That was on 22nd January.

A week later, emergent work whatsapp group was created. Many information was shared, many standby outbreak teams were created. I was slowly feeling the "tense" and I was slowly getting to the "are you ready?" mode before I started my work in early February.

I thanked the good Lord that during my birthday, crowd limit haven't really taken into place. Hence I was still able to celebrate my birthday with my favourite peeps in Singapore. Slowly..

covid-19 took over for the rest of the year and here we are.. the month of December, reflecting how our year has truly been.

... 2020 in general must be a shitty/dull/bad year for most of us. Of not being able to travel, of not being able to be with our loved ones, of people losing job/s, of the vulnerables being more vulnerable to sickness, of people losing their mind, of seeing many brainless, selfish and judgemental people in the political world (especially during this pandemic) and all that jazz.

It's a year which work from home, zoom calls/meetings, study from home are the new kind of norm now. Internet and social medias have played even more important roles to keep ourselves updated with new information, progress and the good and bad of coronavirus news. If I were to say my 2020 had done fairly well (the fact that I am still alive and is still having a job to survive) despite the pandemic, that would be an absolute lie. Like normal human beings, I do experience and have encountered a few unspoken, unfortunates events this year.

For instance, I slipped and had a fall from a flight of stairs, early of the year, injuring my left upper arm and I was suspecting I was having tendonitis?

It was a painful period of recovery, which worried me because I use my upper limbs to carry my patients. With that one hand down, I can't do a lot of things efficiently. But thank the good lord, with constant hope, positive attitude, exercise and medicated oil, all is well now. ❤️ Following the mishap, I slipped a few times on a slippery floor within the same year. So many times I get so annoyed but all's good. No sprains, no strains. Just a minor scratch here and there, thankfully!

Fall down 7 times, stand up 8! 💪💪💪

In terms of essentials and belongings, I lost two very precious, cute looking EZ link cards (similar to our touch n go cards) which broke my heart dearly. I can't seem to find another similar design EZ link card that I once loved. Yikes!

October was the month I almost can't collect my NRIC after a few appointments made. A month after that, my dear Huawei P10 plus decided to PEA collapse on me for real after 2 years being with me. I was upset for sure. I had to search and spent for another phone quickly to salvage my contact and important information. After a few mini dramas of getting the phone I wanted, I managed to buy it at an affordable price and secure my data just in time! Phew. Another misfortune saved. *sigh of relief*

In terms of human to human interaction this year, I get to know some really toxic people who are lazy, who bully kind people, who belittle the weak, who show off powers - which is truly sad and disgusting. This set of people are those people whom I don't wish to be with or be like them. I was silly enough to let them take me and my help for granted, hence I've learnt. I have really, really learnt.

To distance myself from them.

...

Setting the negativities aside, one of the many positive highlights this year that happened was deployment to NCID (National Centre of Infectious Disease). Although all of us (the healthcare workers) went through crazy intensive trainings and suffered from physical facial damage (pressure injury, redness, pain) from the PPE we wear, we all worked collaboratively despite coming from various disciplines/hospitals, fighting together as one! I've met many enthusiastic, intelligent, amazing, kind peeps at NCID and have learnt so much there. (ECMO, IABP, awake proning, etc!) Such a worthy experience. ✨

On another note, I've accomplished a couple of unplanned things, in the meantime learnt a few new things about myself.. Wonder what they are? Hmm let's see! 

First off, I didn't know I can cycle so much kilometers at one go (48km, the longest I did?!), I didn't know what triggered me to cycle so much but every time I completed a journey, my legs are feeling either all jelly or I always have the intense feelings.. then tell myself that I could have done better. Which makes me want to go for more the next time. Such crazy thoughts huh pk.

Having the wind blow pass through my hair is already soothing, one other extra good side of cycling is that I get to explored many parts of Singapore that I haven't been before, another form of traveling but via 🚲! I've learnt to plan routes via Google map, tried different timing of cycling and honestly, each experience has been quite the extraordinary. 😊

Apart from cycling though, I do hiking as well. I'm so glad that I head out to exercise almost every week since August and I've never felt so good ever since! Maybe I should make a blogpost about my cycling and hiking journey soon.

.. Besides, home yoga sesh via short 30 mins online classes and doodling are some of the indoor activities I did during my day offs from April-June, the circuit breaker period. Doodle has been very therapeutic and becoming more and more of my favourite thing to do whenever I need to de-stress. Here are some that I have done,

All doodles inspired by fellow talented artist @lovelimzy at Instagram!

As you may known already, I've expanded my #pkhappinessproject this year. I've created a hearty memorial board, make more different kind of (farewell, thank you, birthday) cards and I also recently made 45 DIY hearty cards this Christmas as a give thanks to people!

As for photography, I have taken up 2 side projects last year, covering Gender Reveal and Friendship photoshoot and 4 side projects this year, covering Baby 1st Birthday, Maternity and Family photoshoot.

Above collage of photos are just some of my favourite taken shots this year. For more photoshoot photos, click here for more! :)

Annnnd for a low alcohol tolerance like myself, I've learnt to drink a lil' more this year and learnt my rate of drinking before I get drunk but worry notttttt. I'm not an alcoholic just yet! Haha still experimenting and trying here and there so all's good! 🙊

As much as I'm grateful for the birthday celebration I had this year by thoughtful peeps, I'm also thankful to have only one time sickness (mild flu) with no sorethroat (my ultimate source of major sickness) throughout the year! 💪❤️

2020 is tough but thank you all whom I have mentioned in my previous ig post for being my source of life battery, for me to continue to strive on despite all. Here's to a better, safer, healthier and happier 2021, loves. Stay hopeful. Have lots of faith!

It's been so good to write again after sucha longggggggg time. Anyhoo, thank you for reading.

Here's to 2021, y'all! 🥂 🥂

xx

What a Covid Year.

2020 has been blessed cursed with a virus called the coronavirus since the end of 2019. First few cases were detected in Wuhan, China. Without us knowing the contagious level.. it is slowly spreading to the world one at a time like a silent wildfire.

It was truly a reflective, emotional, rough year for many.

What about yourself? How have it affected you, pk?

Well as one of the first frontliners, I have no words but to fight. To fight the virus at my utmost capabilities which includes gowning myself up in full PPE (personal protective equipment), suffocate myself with n95 mask while doing nursing task and to suffer the physical pressure marks on the skin after that.

Just to care for my patients, to ensure people surrounding me are safe and free from this infectious virus...

...

T-0.

Almost 5 Months. Sounds short but feels so long. 

Deployment to NCID ICU whom now we called the OICU (Outbreak ICU) has been nothing but the BEST, enriching and one of the most memorable nursing experiences I'll remember for many years down the road.

I still remember everything was pretty abrupt with so many changes (especially the hospital protocols) going on at the same time. Human deployments, revamping of wards, shuffling of manpower, adjustment to different settings, intensive trainings and more trainings to standby in the midst of this outbreak.

One thing for sure, is that we're all trained to be flexible in all directions.

...

During my first few weeks here, my face felt the immerse tense and the extreme pain from the pressure marks due to prolonged wear of n95 masks and goggles. Pimples emerging every other days, stress level fluctuates based on the updated hospital protocols. It was really rather crazy.

But what kept me going was the peeps whom I worked with. From experiencing horror circuit breaker together (a sad period of going to work and home only), looking at the active covid-19 cases rising daily and hopelessly, sweat in full PPE together while nursing to..  sharing meals, joy and laughter together during meal break. Bless the wonderful amazing comrades whom I met in NCID that become the source of my life battery and truly kept me sane until today.

We definitely have had our fair share of chill, busy and tough times fighting this coronavirus together.

Our fluctuate census is the one that always makes us feel so drained out physically, mentally and emotionally. No ALs while the manpower of staffing are quite stiff and limited. I have worked 9 months continuously without any annual leaves and yes I miss my home, my Malaysia , my family and yes its' a crazy journey.

However, I must say thank Covid-19 for bringing all of us (the nurses from MICU, SICU, CCU, NICU from the main TTSH building and nurses from other hospitals) together to work collaboratively despite the disciplines, to operate outbreak ICUs with our fellow NCID comrades.

Thankfully, I've met many of you who are all of good souls, who kept pumping me up, who work hand in hand together to ensure we all go back on time. I truly appreciate that all of you peeps who are so heartwarming, welcoming me with open arms and kindness, not to forget "Eh, ho bo!" (Eh, how are you!) kind of greeting from a dear friend who makes me feel, we're one big OICU family. :))

Thank you for the outbreak ICU experience, thank you for journeying this together with me, fellow comrades! I will miss all the stressful, painful moments/experiences and laughter together while working together as a team.

3F will always have a special place in my heart with all of you -good, kind peeps that make work so much bearable and makes me feel so much at home (despite the super cold environment) during this difficult period. Thank you for that. Thank you for the kind accommodation, thank you for the invaluable experiences, thank you for the friendship. All these will be kept so closely in my heart!

Covid-19 is not entirely over yet, fam. Perhaps it's more under control but we shall not take it too lightly. 

May this covid season will end quickly so we all will be reunited with our loved ones and of course travel again soon although travel would feel/mean differently next time. Praying hard everyday, forever and always. Keeping my fingers crossed!

Let's stay hygienic and vigilant together. :)

It's been a great honour, my friends!

Forget me not,

2/4/2020- 29/8/2020.

xx